• May 2012

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

Richard Carlson’s “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff About Money” is a book that has been on my shelf since 2001, the year I made the leap from full-time journalist to entrepreneur.

Making any career change is nerve-wracking, at best, so the simple, sage advice provided in the pages of Carlson’s book made me feel better every time I picked it up.

When I launched Be Inkandescent magazine in January 2010, he was tops on my list to feature as an Entrepreneur of the Month. Needless to say, it came as a shock when I learned that Carlson had died of a pulmonary embolism on Dec. 13, 2006.

“He was on an airplane bound for New York when he fell asleep and died,” explained his wife, Kristine, when I interviewed her in April 2012. “I’ll never forget getting that call with the news. In the beginning, I thought I would be in deep grief forever. But now I know differently. Richard had such an extraordinary way of seeing the world, and an extraordinary way of expressing it. In some ways, he’s still here.”

Kristine admits it took time, and courage, but she is proud to release the first addition to the Don’t Sweat series since Richard’s death: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff for Moms. It hits bookstores this month in celebration of Mother’s Day. Because Richard’s goal was to help entrepreneurs, Kristine gave us permission to run the introduction to “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff About Money,” in our Tips column.

As you read on, consider these words of wisdom from Richard Carlson: “I’ve learned that there is often a fine line between success and failure. So often, the difference lies in overcoming worry. So, please, don’t sweat the small stuff. And it’s all small stuff.”

Here’s to your sweat-free life!Hope Katz Gibbs
Publisher Be Inkandescent • Founder Inkandescent PR

Richard Carlson Suggests 6 Ways to Create A Life of Abundance—And Fun

MAY 2012: DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF—AND IT’S ALL SMALL STUFF

When Richard Carlson passed away in December 2006, he left behind a legacy of 30 books that have helped millions learn not to let the small things in life get the best of them.

Carlson was considered one of the foremost experts on happiness and stress reduction, and his Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff series made publishing history as USA Today’s #1 bestselling book for two consecutive years. The title spent more than 100 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list, and is considered one of the fastest selling books of all time.

To inspire and calm you, following are six excerpts from Richard Carlson’s 100 tips. Illustrations by Michael Gibbs

1. Remember that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. “Sometimes, when you consider taking on a new venture—raising a child, writing a book, starting a new business, beginning a savings plan, or anything else—the task can seem overwhelming. It’s as though you’ll never be able to arrive at your final destination, as if the first step isn’t going to help. The trick to success sounds very simplistic, because it is very simple: Just begin. Take a single step, followed by another, and another. Don’t look too far out into the future, and don’t look too far back either. If you follow this simple plan, you’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish over time.”

2. Learn the magic of nonattachment. “Being attached to an outcome takes an enormous amount of energy—not only during an effort, but often after an effort is complete, after you’ve failed, or been let down, or were dealt a bad hand. Being nonattached, however, creates emotional freedom. It means holding on tightly but letting go lightly. It suggests trying hard, really caring, but at the same time being completely willing to let go of the outcome. It works like magic, allowing you to have fun in your efforts, and enjoy the process. Plus, it helps you succeed at whatever you are doing by giving you the confidence you need. You win regardless of the outcome. And, it helps you stay out of your own way.”

3. Become a stress-stopper. “There’s little doubt in the minds of most business people I’ve met that, overall, stress interferes with the quality of business. People who are too stressed are reactive and frightened, and tend to make more mistakes than those who are calm. If you want to maximize your chances for success and profit, when stress is present in your workplace or mind, you should do everything you can to prevent its spread. So when you get all riled up and bothered, keep what’s bothering you to yourself. Doing so can pay handsome rewards.”

4. Consider the possibility that if it sounds too good to be true, it might not be. “The suspicion, cynicism, and doubt that are inherent in this old adage can and do keep people from taking advantage of excellent opportunities. If you think it’s too good to be true, you’ll be very hesitant to take a careful look at it, and you’ll dismiss it as being superficial or too risky. What happens if you’re wrong? You’ll miss out. Being a nonworrier doesn’t guarantee success, but it sure makes it easier to spot opportunities when they come your way.

5. Learn about moods and money. “Moods are one of the unavoidable, mysterious parts of life that must be dealt with by everyone. Our understanding of moods greatly affects not only our wisdom and perspective, but our overall level of satisfaction. When we feel low, we think of our dissatisfactions more than when we feel good. The trick is to be grateful when your mood is high and graceful when it is low. The same dynamic applies to your creativity and ability to create abundance. When you are in a low mood, don’t make important business (or life) decisions. Don’t force it. Resist the temptation to worry about your moods. They are always changing, so simply realize that you are in a stuck place—and it’ll likely raise your spirits. Don’t worry! As your mood rises, your capacity to create will unfold.”

6. Pay yourself first. “On the surface, this is one of the least original ideas I have. Most financial professionals realize that it’s virtually impossible to accumulate great wealth without this type of discipline and wisdom. Despite its importance, however, a very small percentage of people actually implement this strategy. The major reason: worry. From this moment on, make a commitment to ignore all thoughts of worry and pay yourself—before anyone else. Write yourself a check, invest in yourself, and trust in yourself. You will then have enough for everything else.”

Don’t stop now! For more tips from Richard Carlson, click here.

Hung Up About Money? "Don't Sweat It," Insists Richard Carlson

By Richard Carlson, Ph.D. (1961-2006)

Author of the bestselling, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” book series

From the introduction to his 2001 book, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff About Money.

When the subject of money comes up, there’s often stress in the air. Money is necessary, of course, but it’s confusing to most of us.

Most people feel they have too little of it; a few people have too much. Money causes rifts between friends as well as family members. Money breaks up marriages and lifelong friendships. I’ve heard there are more arguments, fights, and disagreements about money than about any other subject in the world.

People become greedy about money, and they become stubborn. Rarely does this topic bring out the best in someone; often it brings out the worst. Many people are foolish and wasteful with their money. Others become very controlling and uptight. To further complicate matters, money is often associated with power and prestige. Therefore, many people attach their self-esteem to their net worth and, in doing so, ruin their chance to have happy and peaceful lives.

You’d think that when a person acquired a certain degree of wealth, they’d stop sweating about money, but usually the opposite occurs. Rather than feeling relief, they become even more obsessed. Now they are worried about keeping it, protecting it, caring for it, and so forth.

I’ve been with many poor people, a great number of rich people, and a vast number of people in-between. In all honesty, I’d have to say that 99 percent of them, regardless of their financial statures, sweat the small stuff about money.

Indeed, it’s a universal tendency. You can’t (and probably don’t want to) avoid the issues surrounding money, but you can learn to take them more in stride. And when you do, your entire life will become more relaxing and peaceful.

It’s quite possible to achieve great wealth and success in your life, yet remain unaffected by it. It’s possible to make wise and appropriate decisions about money without excessive worry or grief. That’s what this book is about: finding ways to create abundance and more fun without the stress that is usually associated with such intentions.

Learning how not to sweat the small stuff about money won’t take away all the monetary issues you have to deal with, but it sure will bring you more peace of mind. With added perspective, and perhaps a bit of humor, you’ll be able to tend to your money wisely—make great choices and see things clearly without having fiscal issues take over your life.

If you’ve read any of my Don’t Sweat books, you know that I believe strongly in the potential of people. I believe we have the potential for great joy, compassion, and wisdom. And part of this potential is manifested when we learn to stop sweating the small stuff.

When you stop sweating the small stuff about money, everyone benefits. You’ll feel better, and what’s more, you’ll probably make more money, too. To me, it’s pretty obvious that any success we enjoy is despite our worry, not because of it! Worry and excessive stress are distractions that keep us from our dreams and from our greatest potential. So as we discover ways to worry less, to “not sweat it,” we ignite that capacity within us.

Even as importantly, others benefit, too. As we worry less about money, we are more willing to do things for others. We are more generous and charitable. Rather than postponing the giving of our time, energy, ideas, or money because of fear, we learn to give freely, from the heart.

I’ve known many people who, after dropping some of their concerns about this issue, started donating money and volunteering their time for others. Without the emotional burdens of getting too uptight about money, you can use your energy in more constructive ways, doing the things that bring you the most joy.

The 100 strategies in Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff About Money were written to help you banish worry from your life forever.

Whether you want the confidence to pursue a new career or dream, the emotional freedom to ask others for help or for a raise, the ability to handle criticism or rejection, the confidence to take a risk, speak to a group, do more for your favorite charity, creatively and confidently market a service or product—or simply to become less uptight about money—consider these strategies. I am hopeful that they will help you create an even better life.

For more information about Carlson’s books, visit www.dontsweat.com.

Click here to buy the book.

Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.”

– Robert Louis Stevenson

Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love.”

– Jalaluddin Rumi

Whatever you do may seem insignificant, but it is most important that you do it.”

– Gandi

‎Excellence is to do a common thing in an uncommon way.”

– Booker T. Washington

Confidence is the most important thing you can teach someone… if you can teach them confidence, you don’t have to teach them anything else.”

– Vin Diesel

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. Hold fast to dreams, for when dreams go, life is a barren field frozen with snow.”

– Langston Hughes

If you want to be busy, keep trying to be perfect. If you want to be happy, focus on making a difference.”

– Lisa Earle McLeod

‎The biggest flaw in our existing theory of capitalism lies in its misrepresentation of human nature.”

– Muhammad Yunus

Don’t wait for someone else to lead you to your right life; that privilege—and responsibility—is yours alone.”

– Martha Beck

Traveling is one way of lengthening life, at least in appearance.”

– Benjamin Franklin

Who cares if my glass is half empty or half full; I still have something to drink.”

– Optimism rules

The man who acquires the ability to take full possession of his own mind may take possession of anything else to which he is justly entitled.”

– Andrew Carnegie

Spend the afternoon. You can’t take it with you.”

– Annie Dillard

We are not meant to resolve all contradictions, but to live with them and rise above them.”

– William Blake

I find out what the world needs, then I proceed to invent.”

– Thomas Edison

Just don’t give up trying to do what you really want to do.
 Where there is love and inspiration, I don’t think you can go wrong.”

– Ella Fitzgerald

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.”

– President Calvin Coolidge

Many people prefer to play it safe when it comes to business matters. Are you willing to take risks in the pursuit of entrepreneurial success?”

– Steven Schussler

A truly forgiving person is someone who experiences all the anger merited by injustice and still acts with fairness and compassion.”

– Martha Beck

Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”

– Nelson Mandela

Success is the necessary misfortune of life, but it is only to the very unfortunate that it comes early.”

– Anthony Trollope

There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.”

– Christopher Morley

The fixity of a habit is generally in direct proportion to its absurdity.”

– Marcel Proust

A people who mean to be their Governors must arm themselves with the power which knowledge gives.”

– James Madison

The only dream worth having is to live while you’re alive and die only when you’re dead.”

– Arundhati Roy

You don’t go into a field that requires cracking people’s heads open or operating on something as delicate as the spinal cord unless you are comfortable with taking risks.”

– Dr. Ben Carson

Friendship is the only cement that will hold the world together.”

– Woodrow Wilson

Do you believe it is important to give back some portion of your wealth to support charitable causes?”

– Steven Schussler

Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”

– Eckhart Tolle

If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more.
 If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.”

– Oprah Winfrey

Challenge is a dragon with a gift in its mouth. Tame the dragon and the gift is yours.”

– Noela Evans

My task is really not to change myself but to become familiar with who I am.”

– Maureen Cook

The important thing is not being afraid to take a chance. The greatest failure is to not try.”

– Debbi Fields, Mrs. Fields Cookies

The great use of life is to spend it on something that will outlast it.”

– William James

Never cut what you can untie.”

– Joseph Joubert

The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware.”

– Henry Miller

Of course there is no formula for success except perhaps an unconditional acceptance of life and what it brings.”

– Arthur Rubinstein

I have spent a good part of my life convincing people that a blank sheet of paper is the greatest opportunity in the world, and not frightening at all.”

– Marty Skler, executive vp, Walt Disney Imagineering

Nurture your mind with great thoughts; to believe in the heroic makes heroes.”

– Benjamin Disraeli

‎No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of another.”

– Charles Dickens

Things don’t change. You change your way of looking, that’s all.”

– Carlos Castaneda

If you were independently wealthy and never had to work a day in your life, would you still choose to spend your time attempting to become a successful entrepreneur?”

– Steven Schussler

Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.”

– Leo Jozef Suenens

Anything not worth doing well is not worth doing.”

– Warren Buffett

The world I believed in, back in my most innocent, uninformed, childish mind—is real.”

– Martha Beck

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”

– Dalai Lama

It is to no purpose to turn away from the real nature of the affair because the honor of its elements excites repugnance.

– Carl von Clausewitz, On War

But all the while I was alone, the past was close behind, I seen a lot of women, but she never escaped my mind, and I just grew, tangled up in blue.”

– Bob Dylan

If you wish success in life, make perseverance your bosom friend, experience your wise counselor, caution your elder brother, and hope your guardian genius.”

– Joseph Addison

Some things are destined to be—it just takes us a couple of tries
to get there.”

– J.R. Ward, Lover Mine

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